1. Is coaching right for me, or me and my spouse?
You can’t move toward the future without turning the page on the past. Attaining a life coach is recommended after large unresolved matters are settled. Coaching may not be what you need if you have large unresolved issues from the past that are effecting your present life or relationship.
Life coaching also may not be the best option for you if you have a hard time digesting constructive criticism or you just don’t think you can devote the time and energy necessary to make a change for the better. Due to the partnership approach of coaching, it is vital that the client be open to the experience and willing to put in the work that is necessary to achieve their desired goals.
Here are some simple questions to determine how open you are to coaching.
Grade each of the following questions on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being “absolutely not” and 6 being “definitely yes”.
1. Are you willing to make changes in your life that may be outside your comfort zone in order to achieve a better life or marriage?
2. Are you open to new concepts, new perspectives, and new ideas?
3. Are you willing to put in the work that will be required to reach goals that you set?
4. Are you willing to set aside time to communicate with your coach regularly?
5. Are you able to be open and honest with your coach and your spouse (couples coaching) about problems, obstacles and hopes for the future?
6. Are you willing to let your coach know if you aren’t seeing improvements or making progress, so that we can work together to make changes to be more productive.
Match your score below:
- Below a 12, you may not be ready for or open to coaching at this point.
- 13-18, while coaching will be of value, you will need to work hard at stretching yourself in order to move forward.
- 19-24, you are ready for coaching and should have little trouble with accepting the changes you will ask of yourself.
- 25-30, you are ideal for coaching and should be able to make progress quickly.
2. How can I get the most out of coaching?
The best way to get the most out of your coaching experience is to:
- Be honest – With yourself, your spouse (couples coaching) and with your coach. Hiding issues, obstacles, or setbacks only slows the process and wastes your time.
- Be open to new ideas – Be open to the idea that there may be a better way to do something and that you might not have all the answers.
- Track your progress – Get a journal, I highly recommend this as a way to track your progress as you work through issues.
- Communicate – Don’t wait until your coaching call to talk to your spouse (couples coaching) about problems that you are having.
- Own the process – Your coach is not responsible for you reaching your goals or improving your life/marriage, you are. So give it the attention and effort your life or marriage deserves. You will get out of it only what you put into it.
3. How are sessions conducted?
Most coaching sessions typically take place over the telephone or on Skype, but if you’d prefer to meet with Re’ face-to-face, you may do so in his hometown of Dover, Delaware.
4. What if my spouse is not willing to be coached?
This is a situation that is fairly common in marriages. One partner will be more sensitive to the problems in the marriage and more invested in change than the other.
In these cases, I am willing to coach you as an individual, in the hopes that your spouse will see the changes in you and the improvements in the marriage, and will become interested in investing in the marriage themselves. While we won’t be able to work on the marriage as a whole, we will be able to work on your half of it. Often that is enough to make significant changes in the overall marriage.
5. Can coaching be anonymous?
The answer to this is yes. I started this for men dealing with sexual addiction issues, but often I find it helps couples that are struggling to open up about sexual issues they are having in their relationship. For them, anonymous coaching can help create a safe space for them to discuss problems, share their struggles, and work together to find solutions in a non-judgmental environment. If you are considering this, only put your first name on the coaching request from.
Please keep in mind, that weather the coaching is anonymous or not, my goal is to help you attain your goals, not judge you for the problems you are having or the mistakes you’ve made.
6. What does the marriage coaching process consist of?
Starting out, I ask a couple to commit to sessions once a week for at least 8 weeks, after which we re-evaluate the status of the marriage, critique the effect of changes made to that point, and discuss the desired goals as we move forward. Some minor issues can be resolved in a session or two, while others may take longer and require identifying and possibly changing habits that are toxic to the marriage. How fast the process moves is totally in your control.
7. Who can use a Relationship or Marriage Coach?
The short answer is that anyone can benefit from relationship coaching or life coaching and it can be used for a variety of reasons.
Some of which are:
- Premarital or Engagement
- Marriage Enrichment
- Marriage Crisis
If you would like to schedule a no obligation complimentary 30 minute coaching session, please fill out the coaching request form here, or contact Re’ at firstname.lastname@example.org and Re’ will get back to you within 48 hours to set up a time that is convenient for you.